|My hosts: The Jaxate Family.|
The next couple of blog posts are going to be hard and many of you have some insight to what is going on. But I thought I would start at the beginning.
I am coming home.
I love Senegal. The Peace Corps is a great program. I think that I would do great at this job. But I am not excited. I am not really happy. You can’t do this job when you are not that into doing it. This is my life. This is it. This Peace Corps is everything that I expected it to be. I just reacted differently than I thought I would. Not bad. Just different. I want to do something with my life. Just not this.
The second factor (these aren’t in order of importance, just ease of explanation) is that my Grandfather is very sick. I tried to handle this, but I am taking it hard. I would like to see him.
The third factor is that Peace Corps was a means to an end for me. I wanted to use this experience to propel myself into graduate school in Political Anthropology. I future that I no longer want. It changes my perspective of doing two years of development work here.
I have been sick a lot during training and when you are sick it is really hard to stay positive about living in an underdeveloped country. When I felt healthy I loved it here. I really really did. I waited until I was feeling good and back on track with training to think about early termination so that I could identify the right reasons for staying or leaving.
It turns out that one of the only reasons I wanted to stay was for Isaa Sekk, which isn’t a good enough reason to stay in the Peace Corps. The two should not be connected. The next post will be about Isaa so that you all know.